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Beloved Community Church
Pastoral Team
BCC NUPTIAL NUGGETS: MARRIAGE ENRICHMENT
Episode 3:  Let's Dance

We cannot deny the truth that not all marriages are made from heaven. But what happens to our marriages that
disconnect us from the happy wedding day? Maybe because many married couples failed to remember that
marriage is like a dance. Song of Solomon 6:10 – 14 says:

10 "Has anyone ever seen anything like this—   dawn-fresh, moon-lovely, sun-radiant,    ravishing as the night sky
with its galaxies of stars?"  One day I went strolling through the orchard, looking for signs of spring, Looking for buds
about to burst into flower, anticipating readiness, ripeness. Before I knew it my heart was raptured, carried away by
lofty thoughts!  13 Dance, dance, dear Shulammite, Angel-Princess! Dance and we'll feast our eyes on your grace!
Everyone wants to see the Shulammite dance her victory dances of love and peace.

Married life is like watching two people dance gracefully and intimately. “When I move you move, just like
that”  One must lead the dance, the other must follow. When two people try to lead, nothing feels right. The
movement doesn't flow with the music, and the two are out of step. When one recognizes the problem and lets
the other lead, the couple is back in rhythm, back in step.  One gives gentle cues, perhaps with a nudge to the
back or by pressing lightly in one direction or another. It's as if two become one body, moving beautifully.  
Dancing takes surrender, willingness, and attentiveness from both partners.   Most dances are set up so that the
gentleman takes the lead. But in the dance of life called “marriage”… the husband and wife take turns in
leading the dance then it becomes the unifying dance of marriage.

Let’s remember that the graceful and happy dance in marriage does not come naturally. You need to work at it.
You need to desire it.   Marriage is a commitment. It is a commitment of giving yourself to each other. It is a
commitment of saying “I love you” and “I forgive you” to one another when one fails to dance well in the music
of life. You may still have some misunderstandings and misgiving ahead of you. But just learn to love and
forgive, and you will be fine. Just hold on and persevere and you will learn your own rhythm and your own dance
as a couple.

Part of learning your own dance is to know the seven steps of the marriage dance.  Father Willy M. Samson had
an interesting homily on the Internet that we’d like to share with you.  In order to Step in the Name of Love we
need to be able to - to see, to hear, to touch, to talk, to pray, to walk, and to live.

    •To see – Learn to see each other by understanding each other in the eyes of love. Try to see your partner
    through the lens of God. .

    •To hear –Listening is an action word.  Learn to listen, intentionally listen, and Practice listening. But
    Jesus said in the Gospels; Let those that have an ear to hear, let them hear.  Listening is key, but hearing
    is “the key.”  Hearing is The Learned skill that will help you survive the trials of your marriage.   

    •To touch – Be sensitive enough to avoid pressing each other’s buttons.  But don’t stop the touches that
    confirm that I love you, I want you, I need you. Console each other when crisis comes and celebrate each
    other’s joy.

    •To talk – Learn how to speak each other’s Love language.  Be sensitive enough to SAY IT, so your
    partner can HEAR IT. Presentation is everything. Never stop communicating as it is essential to a
    successful marriage.

    •To pray – Learn to pray together.  Consult God in that entire do. Remember, in a covenant marriage
    there is a third person in your dance, it is God.

    •To walk – In order to successfully step in the name of love, like Pastor Sherry always says, walk all your
    decisions to the end of the road.  There are no short cuts in marriage.  You must remember it’s no longer
    my problem; it’s our problem, our project, our family.

    •To live – Enjoy married life. Do things you enjoy doing together. Dance ya’ll.  Your friendship is too
    beautiful to forget. After all, your friendship is the foundation of your continued married life.

Choose to love every day. Find a way to Say YES to each other every day.  Affirm each other every day.  Find a
way to laugh together every day.  And before you know it, you’ll be in step and enjoying the dance.  Our prayer
for you today is that you would remember the seven steps of the marriage dance.  And that God's blessings and
mercies would be upon you on this day and forever more.  Let God choose the song, lead the dance and guide you
both.

And so, until we bring you our Nuptial Nuggets next week, don’t forget to stay tuned and keep your
relationships: “Unbreakable; through the technical difficulties, unbreakable.  Now we have to take a break, y’all
know we’ll be back next time because God’s love is unbreakable.


Musical Download: "Unbreakable" by Alicia Keys

© Revs. Samoris & Paula Hall & the Beloved Community Church

Resources: Marriage Counseling  http://www.goodtherapy.org/marriage-counseling.html
 American Association of Marriage & Family Therapists: http://www.aamft.org/